I’ve been thinking a lot lately about love, and what it means in our lives.
Not as romantic partnership, but as that perspective which encompasses everything we see, how we see it, how we interact with it. The attitude, the mood, the approach to life. What got me there, of course, is all the negativity, something that has been building in me for years really, noticing how we are pre-conditioned into negative thinking, how much of it surrounds us. Yet, all along I’ve felt we have a choice, that it doesn’t need to be that way.
Yes, the bad things are a part of it all, but do we really need to make them stronger, predominant, make our response automatically grounded in them?
Take the easiest route and just refuse it all, fight mercilessly our reality and only see the mess, the fear, the uncertainty, the anguish, the hate, the twisted games. Be so persistent that even when someone is trying to explain something inherently positive, we try our best to see where it has gone wrong.
Still, it seems that even those feelings we can’t feel freely, go with them, listen to them, accept their existence. Instead, we wave our arms in dismay, whirling and smashing, battling everything around us, insistently barking as starving dogs. Yes, we don’t always see the flowers growing from the damp ground, but mostly we don’t want to step into the mud neither. We let everything pass us by, miss it.
Maybe, that’s why we so often have trouble feeling the real joy, a smile that doesn’t seem like a cynical grin, waiting to transform into a ”told-you-so” laugh.
What if I take another path for a while, embrace my suffering and be patient with it, try a little tenderness with my anxiety, some curiosity and playfulness in the place of fright, let haters their existence and give attention to the lovers, admire the shapes of the clouds instead of missing the sun? Be present.
Because I’ve realized fighting anything only makes me weaker, and sensing it with all my being doesn’t.